The Gap Between Beliefs and Behavior
Bridging the Chasm: Why Your Beliefs and Behavior Don't Align
Welcome to the Dee Hankins Show, where we're dedicated to helping you build resilience and navigate life's curveballs. In this episode, we dive into the core of spiritual strength and tackle the number one struggle people face in their spiritual journey: the gap between belief and behavior [01:50].
The Roadmap to Resilience: Core Four & Three Buckets
Before addressing the gap, host Dee Hankins lays the groundwork for personal accountability. To become truly resilient, you must take absolute responsibility and accountability for your Core Four [00:35]:
Spiritually
Financially
Physically
Mentally
All events in your life, fall into one of the Three Buckets [01:10]:
My Choices: Decisions you make.
Your Choices: Choices other people make that affect you.
Natural Disasters/Acts of God: Things completely out of your control.
The struggle with spirituality often lies in the inconsistency and disconnection between what you value and how you live every day [01:39]. This internal conflict is what generates feelings of hypocrisy and guilt, where you know you "should be doing better" but struggle to align your actions with your inner knowledge [02:07].
What Widens the Gap? Three Common Contenders
What makes it so difficult to stand on your beliefs when life gets hard? The episode identifies three primary factors that enhance and widen the separation between what you believe and how you behave:
Lack of Consistency in Daily Practice [09:20]
In a world full of distractions (social media, work, family), our spiritual health is often deprioritized. A lack of daily, intentional practice means that when hard times come, it's easy to snap back into old, unhelpful patterns. The host notes that even five minutes a day can make a difference in strengthening your spirituality.
The Pressure of Judgment and the Hesitancy to Help [14:11]
Doing good is often viewed through a negative lens in a judgmental world. The host shares a tragic story of a man who was sued for trying to help a falling child, illustrating how fear of liability and judgment can make people hesitate to jump into action. This fear can cause a disconnect, making it hard to find a supportive community or "tribe" that won't judge your past mistakes [15:07].
Uncertainty and the "Why Me?" Question [17:25]
Events from the "Natural Disasters/Acts of God" bucket—sickness, death, or tragedy—are often the straw that breaks the camel's back for people's faith. It's difficult to reconcile spiritual beliefs with a world where devastation seems unwarranted, leading to the devastating question: "Why me?" The host reminds us that these events happen to everyone, and true spiritual strength is found not in avoiding them, but in your response to them [19:45].
Closing the Gap: Taking Responsibility
To bridge the chasm between belief and behavior, the host offers a few key insights:
Give Yourself Grace: It is important to remember that we are all human, and spirituality is difficult, especially when you are being judged [12:38]. We are all susceptible to hypocritical behavior; the goal is simply to do your best to close the gap [15:59].
Be Authentic: Have a strong foundation, and do your best to stand on your beliefs whether life is good or a curveball is thrown [28:07].
Find Value in Tragedy: Instead of being crippled by the pain of "Why me?", look for ways to find value in your horrible situation [24:39]. The ability to respond in a way that helps other people is what the host considers truly resilient [24:22].
Take Full Responsibility (The Core Question): The host emphasizes the importance of making good choices in the "my choices" bucket and never blaming your spiritual health for the consequences of your actions (e.g., poor financial, physical, or mental decisions) [25:36].
Taking full responsibility does not mean saying, "It's my fault." It means asking the crucial question that creates spiritual strength: "What am I going to do about it now?" [26:22]
Listen to the full episode of The Dee Hankins Show here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KLi1hnPpYE